My Funniest Crash.....EVER!!!

Ok, so NOTHING was funny about my latest race crash. First off it is only the 2nd time I have ever crashed in a race and the first was 2 weeks ago in Burlingame.

Needless to say, I am on the East Coast doing the Job Search thing snd brought my bike to do some racing. Last year when I did this I had great results and really enjoyed myself. This year...not so much.

I bypassed a July 4th crit in NJ to hang with family and enjoy the holiday so my first race was the Farmers Market Alliance race in Branchbrook Park in NJ. A fine fast and flat course with a 180 Fremont style turn on a nearly 4 mile circuit...fun stuff right? Yeah thats what I thought too. But the day started a little hectic. 4:30am wake up for a 6:30am start and I got lost so I jumped from the car at 6:15, dumped, checked in, dumped again and got on the bike and rolled up to the line and we were off. Yes I used the bathroom as my warm up.

Without knowing the competition I knew I needed to sit in to warm up so after the first lap I jumped into a break. Not smart. They got pissed but I couldn't help it...I couldn't get my heartrate up so I did no work and we were absorbed a lap later. Needless to say, from there I just sat in for the next 25 minutes warming up.

As the race went on, breaks tried to go and they were caught and everytime thru the 180I found myself near the front staying out of trouble and because the 180 is at the top of what they call a climb. (Now I'm a climbing snob) With 2 to go, a break of 5 gets up the road but only about 10 seconds and no real worry but it seemed we had trouble pulling them back. entering the last "climb" to the 180 I got to the front of the chase and whipped around the 180 and started motoring. Then I pulled off and NO ONE PULLED THRU. I thought..."F this, I am not leading the pack to the break" and I literally sat up. FINALLY someone pulled thru and the pace was up again but this was what the break needed. Now it was a setting up for the sprint and 3 of the 5 were fading fast and then the snapping of mousetraps happened.

As I started my sprint I looked left to bounce out of the pack when for some reason that only the ALMIGHTY LORD and SAVIOR himself knows for sure some F&%King IDIOT hits his brakes. Yeah 300 meters from the line, DURING THE SPRINT, this ASSHAT hits his brakes and I am on his wheel. That is when my race went to complete shit!!!

That is when I decided that the road in Branchbrook State Park in NJ needed repaving and I would use my leg and ass to do. I landed first sharply on my elbow and bounced to my left sliding in my "Ray Storm edition" skin suit to an undesirable DNF! As I slid, I grabbed my head to protect myself from anyone flipping over me and after 1 rider did I looked up to see a glorious sight.

It was the image that will stay burned in my mind for the entirety of my life. A sight I never thought I would see...cast your mind and picture this:

The sight of a bicycle wheel, MY BICYCLE WHEEL bouncing 20 feet in the air and then continuing down a grass knoll into a lake coming to rest 10 feet off shore...just floating there like a lone cheerio in a huge bowl of milk.

When my body finally came to a halt, that is where my profanity induced tirade took over and I desperately hoped that the guy who caused this was around but that wasn't the case. Instead teammates of the guy who flew over me came over to make sure we were ok and then they helped me fish my wheel out of the water. After picking up my bike, the piece of fork that was now detached and my front wheel, I walked slowly to the finish line with racers and officials watching. Then to add insult to injury as if on cue...my front wheel exploded. NICE!

That's what I call bike racing.